Monday, November 17, 2008

Why a Blog?

Lately I have been recalling many of my past personal experiences that I consider significant events in my personal history. I benefited from some of them and paid a price for others. To a great extent, I was formed into who I am as a result. I want to document, primarily for my family, the most significant of these experiences (or situations). I want them to know more about me than they do at the moment.

Often I find myself in a situation or see someone else in a situation that closely resembles one that I've been in before. No, it's not déjà vu. Just like there are a given number of plots for movies (IE; That Horror Movie with the Psycho, Buddy Cop, The Action Movie, Chick Flick Romance, The Twist, Stereotype Shakeup, Epic War Movie, Teen Comedy, etc.), it seems to me that there's only a set number of situations that one can find himself in. Just like an "Action Movie" can have many, many variations by changing any of the many variables (actor, location, time in history, etc.) the bottom line is it's still in the genre of an "Action Movie". Likewise, a real-life situation (Situation X) has a multitude of variables as well, but the bottom line is that it's basically a variation of Situation X, no matter how you slice it. When I'm in a situation, I invariably categorize them as a Situation X, Y or Z. This allows me to apply knowledge learned from past situations to new situations. This is not to say that I always come out smelling like a rose because I don't.

My situations are nothing spectacular, but for those that were and continue to be affected by the person I was and am, these postings may provide some insight into who I am and where I come from. Not in the geographical sense but an emotional, intellectual and psychological one. We are products of our environment and I want to describe the environments that I have found myself in over the years. Like all of us, I've had some experiences that had a very profound impact in my development as a person and how I viewed myself and others. If it was a positive experience, I may see it as an award or a shining moment in my life, if it was negative I may see it as a scar that an incident that left me injured; it may not hurt anymore but I'll always remember what happened and especially the pain. Either way, I am always aware of them.

The way I interpreted this combination of good and bad experiences and the decisions I made in response to them, affected the manner in which I responded to the world around me. I have noticed that sometimes I may initially blame someone else for my situation, but eventually, like in 2 minutes, I will take that blame and place it where it really belongs; on my own shoulders. I realize that I was born with freedom of choice and have always had the ability to apply that freedom in every situation I have ever been in. Even the decision not to exercise this freedom is a choice in itself.

I am hoping that as I post my thoughts over time that my family will learn something new about me (and maybe I'll learn something new about myself) and use these pieces of information as bits of a puzzle that when enough pieces are in place, one will get a good sense of who I am and where I come from. Even I can't fully appreciate those two aspects of my being. Although I have a large family, I have never succeeded in opening up to anyone in such a way that they really got to know me and I would like to change that. Some may say that I never tried and I can't totally discount that opinion.


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